


Suicide

by Flawedwinchesters



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds Of Summer Imagines, 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, Amnesia, Amnesiac Ashton, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Depressed Ashton, Depressed Luke, Depression, Diary/Journal, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, New Beginning, Protective Luke, Sad Ashton, Sad Luke, Sick Ashton, Suicidal Thoughts, Thisbookisdepressingbutreaditbecauseitscool, True Love, start over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 23:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10751694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flawedwinchesters/pseuds/Flawedwinchesters
Summary: "Who are you?"Ashton forgets Luke, and Luke's world comes crashing down.





	Suicide

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!
> 
> This is my first fanfic I published so please don't be too harsh :)
> 
> English isn't my first, nor second language, so if you notice any errors, please let me know.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this book.  
> I already published this book on Wattpad.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Hi Ash,                                 April 28 2017_

_Calum told me I needed to talk to a therapist to express my feelings. I declined, so Michael bought me a journal . It is black leatherbound. I kinda thought he would buy me a pink one with Disney princesses infront of it. This journal is the closest that I'll be to a conversation with you. I'll keep track of all the things that happened while you were out from now on. So you know what happened while you were somewhere else._

_I miss you so much. I miss your giggle, your positive look on bad situations, your beautiful eyes. Calum, Michael and I tried playing a small gig like 3 days ago. It didnt go well at all.._  
_When we started playing Shes kinda hot we discovered that we need you. I started crying and locked myself in the dressingroom._

_We are still in the US if you are wondering. I wish we could turn back time to the good old days where everything was normal._  
_The doctors said there will be braindamage when you wake up. They said that they're not sure what will be wrong if you wake up, if you wake up at all. Why cant I reverse this. I shouldve get shot, not you._  
_I get it, you're older, but that doesnt mean you had to protect me, and take the bullet for me. It is all my fault._

_You have been 'asleep' for 2 weeks now. Your family came to the US a week ago. Lauren acts like she is fine infront of Harry and your mom. Everyone knows that she cries herself to sleep. We cuddle often, she reminds me of you. We dont talk with eachother though. I dont talk with anyone. My bed is my best friend as with my duvet._

_Michael and Calum are staying over at my place, its almost like they live here. They keep a constant eye on me, like theyre afraid that I will do something stupid. Maybe it is because I cut too deep and took pills. They had a lot of conversations with the doctors. Mine, and yours. Okay, I intended to die, I couldnt handle 1 more day extra without you but now its like I am on suicide watch. They care about me, because I am the youngest and all. I know, but it would be great if they would leave me alone._

_I just cant bear the fact that you are not here with me. I need you, you keep the dark voices away, you make me happy Ashton Fletcher Irwin. Your mom tried talking to me, the only thing I did was crying my eyes out._

_Please come back soon.._

_Did I tell you it is our 1.5 year anniversary in 9 days? Well it is. You have to be awake by then okay?_

_I watch a lot of your old keeks. Only because that is the only way I can hear your voice. When you wake up, we have to make an awesome keek together._

_I also watch a lot of comedy movies. Only because they were our things. Anchor man and Mean girls are my favourites. We had a movie marathon when I asked you to be my boyfriend. When the end of Lets be cops started I asked you. You blushed and nodded. I, no we, were so happy that we didnt stop giggling in like forever._

_Talking about you hurts Ash. Only because you took over my heart, and since youre not here, my heart is not here. This sounds so cheesy, but there's no me without you._

_-Lukey_ -

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos or comments to let me know what you think :)


End file.
